"romance" 

I don't think I understand what "romance" is.

My best explanation has always been "the re-enactment of tropes from media that are socially coded as romantic". Buying flowers, doing the Lady & the Tramp pasta thing, etc. But it's just.. mimicry! Interested in others' hopefully more nuanced thoughts on this.

"romance" 

@tty There’s, like, multiple layers of meaning and a whole cultural history that goes back to 18th Century Europe, but in modern usage I guess a romantic sensibility is one that’s easily overcome by (certain kinds of) emotion and a romantic gesture is one that signifies being overcome by emotion…

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"romance" 

@tty …but then, like you say, amatonormativity means the most culturally acceptable kind of emotion to be overcome by is love, and “romance” becomes a shorthand for the feeling of being overwhelmed by love (“such a romantic evening”), or the cultural signifiers that express being overwhelmed (“flowers and candles! How romantic!”)

"romance" 

@tty Something like that, anyway. There are probably whole shelves full of cultural studies about this

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