“[W]hen your mutual friends insist that ‘Barry’s not RACIST-racist, he just says racist things constantly, as jokes, you’re just being too sensitive!’ what they’re really saying is: ‘Barry is an acceptable amount of racist for us.’ His racism isn’t ruining their day; your objections to it are, and they would find it easier and much more pleasant if you would either get much more racist or pretend to be.”

https://captainawkward.com/2021/01/11/1308-how-do-i-deal-with-my-edgelord-friend/